A figment of my imagination

So far, all my posts in this blog (except the first one) have a serious tone. Hence I thought I would take up a serious topic and put it in a funny perspective. You may consider this as a mordant satire or thigh-slapper depending on your ability to take the joke (esp. if you are at the receiving end)

Imagine Arjun singh is appointed as the sports minister in the central government. Also assume that a world sports committee is formed and he becomes the head of that committee, with extraordinary powers. Now he has to prove himself!! What would he do? He does not know anything beyond reservation. So he decides to introduce reservation in the global sporting events. Not only does he include reservation, but also he changes the rules of the game so that the backward communities are given a fair chance at these events.

Olympics – Athletics 100 meters for men. – Our reserved candidates compete with the world record holders like Usain Bolt and Asafa powell. The race begins and Usain Bolt comes first in the race in 9.62 seconds. That’s a world record!!! But it is decided that the reserved candidate would be provided the gold medal because the rules say that a reserved candidate needs to run only for 33 meters in the 100 meters race. And the reserved candidate has completed the 33 meters in 9.61 seconds. Hence the reserved candidate is very happy. India winning first gold medal in the athletic events in Olympics triggers celebration throughout India. Also there were representations from many more communities that the minimum of 33 meters should be reduced to 10 meters for their caste. Arjun singh and congress, being champions of the under privileged promised that they would bring in this change after the elections.

Tennis – The rules of tennis are amended to include the provisions for the affirmative action. Persons participating in the reserved category need not hit the ball to the other side of the court. The reserved category players can hit the ball anywhere. A big line is drawn outside the stadium, within which the reserved category players are allowed to hit. The first match was between Nadal and a reserved category player. Nadal had to run all around the stadium, sometimes he has to jump into the audience to hit the ball. Finally nadal tries to hit a shot by running to the top most point in the stadium and has a near fatal fall from there.

Football – In foot ball the rules were amended to include self goals by the reserved category members of the team. This makes it very difficult for opponent teams, because they have to defend their goal posts in addition to defending the opponent’s goal posts when the reserved category members try to score self goal.

Eventually, people stopped watching sports channels as they were sure the reserved category would be declared the winners.

The above story is just to emphasize that successive governments in India have been cheating the general public with reservation politics. If they are genuinely interested in the well being of the people, they would have provided proper education to all the people.